Yes, I Will Actually Commend Our Tax Bureaucrats

Every year it seems I screw up some aspect of either my Fed or California tax return. I mess up on some aspect of the form that got changed from the year before, or despite double and triple checking the math, fail to identify some piece that will save me money.

Yeah, you read that right, I most often err in favor to the government. This has never bothered me, since it’s never that much money (I guess) and I figure it’d be my ticket out of jail if I ever worried that my plea of “dumbass” was met with skepticism in some tax court.

And yes, I’m too cheap to hire someone or use software since I still fill in downloaded forms and snail mail hard copies of my taxes. I don’t trust the e-file system and they don’t have free software for Macs, far as I know. I prefer the old paper system and there’s no reason to change it. And get off my lawn.

So this year, turns out I messed up the math on adjusting my deductions to California since they made the form a lot more complicated, although for a good reason. With the state & local tax deduction capped at 10K, they added a load of boxes and lines and instructions that, if properly navigated, maintain property tax deductions over 10K from the California state income tax. I don’t pay more than 10K in property tax with my humble abode, and I wound up subtracting some figure I should not have. California tax instructions are up there with the new math in terms of confusion. I messed up, they caught it, and it wound up shrinking my state refund by a few hundred bucks.

They simply refigured my math, accepted that I am a dumbass, adjusted the amount and direct deposited the proper one.

Continue reading “Yes, I Will Actually Commend Our Tax Bureaucrats”

Didn’t We Have A Revolution Over This?

I just did my taxes. Howzabout you?

I remember when I was a kid and how there’d be a day every year when my dad would come home amazingly pissed off and depressed, and my mom would simply say “You father’s home from the accountant, so you’d better behave.”

Well, I can certainly relate to that every year, but this year is EXTRA special, after being lied to basically all year long about a supposed wonderful tax cut that the majority of us were supposedly getting.

Maybe a majority are, I dunno. But not me. And I’m not exactly one of the 1% billionaire class. I didn’t even have sex with Jeff Bezos (I don’t have Amazon Prime, I’m assuming that’s one of the perks.)

I did a little better this year than last year income-wise, yes. But if you really want to compare apples to apples, put aside the entirety of the shell/con game the tax system plays with you via withholding, refunds, allowed deductions, exemptions, whether you live in a high tax state or not (like I do, BAH) and the like and simply compare how much tax you owe as a percentage of your total income.

The rates on taxable income are down, yes. But now the amount of your gross income that’s taxable is way up. That’s the bait and switch.

My actual tax rate went up by a measly half a percent. Not a huge deal, really, but don’t tell me how I’m getting a tax cut while you’re taking more money from me.

At least I’m being honest when I’d take a drink in celebration if Circe suddenly appeared and turned every one of the SOBs in Washington DC into pigs. It’d be a fitting metaphor, and pigs are cute in their own way. Bacon & baby backs are also damn tasty. And maybe Kirk Douglas would get to scream at her again.

I’d’ve written something much more graphic, violent and psychotic if I didn’t think the FBI would notice and start investigating me.

Although if the pig thing drew FBI or whoever to this blog, please click on the “Buy My Books” tab up above and go on a spree. Think of all the additional taxes you’ll collect, you corrupt thieving bastards.

Sorry Circe, no pork for dinner tonight, but I’ll drown my sorrows in treyf with a big plate of pasta calamari.

Another day, another reason to hate everybody.

What if she’d turned Odysseus’ men into squids? And then they grew giant and attacked other sailors Jules Verne style? Kirk coulda fought them as well, all you have to do it meld those two movies together. And then, perhaps, some of the squid face an unfair court martial… let’s combine EVERY KIRK DOUGLAS MOVIE INTO ONE….

Better not. The taxes on it would be unbearable.

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