Today I went to the grocery store for some restocking, mostly milk, yogurt and assorted items I had soon-to-be-expiring coupons for.
They only had a few bottles of hand sanitizer on the shelves. Well, I guess I can sorta understand the run on those with coronavirus fears out there. You can’t carry a sink and hot water around with you, after all.
But the shelves stocking cases of bottled water and toilet paper were nearly empty.
WHY DO YOU NEED TO STOCK UP ON BOTTLED WATER???
Even if you WERE quarantined at home for WEEKS, there’s something called THE FAUCET, WHERE RUNNING WATER COMES OUT.
And it’s NOT an intestinal bug. You don’t NEED that much toilet paper.
(I do, but that’s another story).
So the cure for this stupidity?
SIMPLE! Turns out the other day, there’s a mountain lion wandering my neighborhood. I knew there were coyotes and a local bobcat, but never a mountain lion before. But according to the ever-vigilant on Nextdoor, someone spotted a decent sized lion only a couple of blocks from my house.
I wanted a new kitty. Maybe the lion heard about that.
In the meantime, I HOPE HE EATS ALL YOU STUPID IDIOTS STOCKPILING BOTTLED WATER.
And then I hope he drinks the water. My cat used to get dehydrated.
And then I hope he pees all over your STUPID CORPSE.
If the lion DOES become my pet, I will train him to do so.
Jim Berkin 