Happy Passover!

Where’s yer false God NOW, Rameses??

HUH???

Your stupid first born was a brat anyway. Have some gefilte fish, it’ll cheer you up before Anne Baxter cheats on you with the stable boy.

BTW, the annual showing of the Jewish Wizard Of Oz is this Saturday at 7 on ABC!

So let it be written, so let it be done.

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Good for the aptly named Randy, eh?

Yes, I Will Actually Commend Our Tax Bureaucrats

Every year it seems I screw up some aspect of either my Fed or California tax return. I mess up on some aspect of the form that got changed from the year before, or despite double and triple checking the math, fail to identify some piece that will save me money.

Yeah, you read that right, I most often err in favor to the government. This has never bothered me, since it’s never that much money (I guess) and I figure it’d be my ticket out of jail if I ever worried that my plea of “dumbass” was met with skepticism in some tax court.

And yes, I’m too cheap to hire someone or use software since I still fill in downloaded forms and snail mail hard copies of my taxes. I don’t trust the e-file system and they don’t have free software for Macs, far as I know. I prefer the old paper system and there’s no reason to change it. And get off my lawn.

So this year, turns out I messed up the math on adjusting my deductions to California since they made the form a lot more complicated, although for a good reason. With the state & local tax deduction capped at 10K, they added a load of boxes and lines and instructions that, if properly navigated, maintain property tax deductions over 10K from the California state income tax. I don’t pay more than 10K in property tax with my humble abode, and I wound up subtracting some figure I should not have. California tax instructions are up there with the new math in terms of confusion. I messed up, they caught it, and it wound up shrinking my state refund by a few hundred bucks.

They simply refigured my math, accepted that I am a dumbass, adjusted the amount and direct deposited the proper one.

Continue reading “Yes, I Will Actually Commend Our Tax Bureaucrats”

Therapy

To cheer myself up: The local pet supply store I used to get stuff from has a big black store cat. So I went over there just to pet the cat, something I do every now and then when I’m jonesin’ for cat petting.

Well, I must have done it right today, since he decided to get up right in my face and HEAD BUTT ME while purring. Those of us well-versed in cat language understand that means he decided he LOVES ME!!!!

So that was definitely the high point of my day.

Then I trolled the Goodwill around the corner and scored a very nice dark blue 100% Camels Hair jacket in my size for only ten bucks. HELL YEAH!

And then I restocked on wines from Trader Joe’s, and despite the fact that they insist on rearranging that damn store every time I walk in, I managed to find what I wanted.

Now I think I’ll make myself a drink, start preparing dinner, and watch the rest of my bracket go to hell.

Perhaps I Was Too Hasty In Mostly Abandoning Facebook….

This ad just turned up. No restrictions? I would have thought the only restrictions were what kind of cookies she baked for me before I felt the lash.

OATMEAL RAISIN,YOU WORM!

She’ll also braid you like a challah.

Dunno, I bet a dom who made a mean (no pun intended) maztohball soup and told you to wear a sweater because the dungeon is cold would be refreshingly different for some. And you’ll meet them on Happiness Coming.

Thousands of happy men and women met their soul mates there. And I hope they all stay far, far away from me.

Spring Break 2019

I will enjoy the gentleman-of-leisure life for the next couple of weeks. I’ll watch too much college basketball to kick it off, then begin the baseball season on the 28th when the Yankees open up. Got a ton of movies in the queue, books to get to, and ample time to go on thrift store safaris for even MOAR crap.

AND I will devote some time to work on two new books, one for each series I’ve got going. I‘ll be a good boy, I promise.

AND it’s spring… if the sun ever comes out, I might even go outside.

Some Fun Science: How Dolphins Get High

Pufferfish will spew out a toxin when threatened that’ll paralyze or kill their enemies.

But dolphins only get stoned off it. And being dolphins, amazingly intelligent animals, they’ve learned to seek out & pass pufferfish amongst themselves, all taking hits off the bong, according to this Smithsonian article.

Money quote: “The dolphins’ expert, deliberate handling of the terrorized puffer fish, Pilley told the Daily News, implies that this is not their first time at the hallucinogenic rodeo.”

Fa loves pa, but loves getting blasted a bit more, I guess.

Me? I’ll be finishing a bottle of wine I started the other day with my dinner tonight. Flipper was not invited.

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