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A Truly Historic Occasion September 30, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in Football, General.
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I was wrong.

About the Patriots. They did just fine today, in nearly every category of play.

Being wrong is a completely unknown and new sensation for me, however. I’ll need some time to absorb and process it.

But Go Pats, in the meantime…

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Thrift Store Triumph & Tragedy September 22, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in Books, General, Writing.
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Been blog-absent for some time now, sorry. Finishing up a new book that y’all can watch this space for in a few weeks – not the new Wagstaff novel, but the first entry in a NEW series, this one a young adult scifi adventure tale that I’m sure adults can enjoy as well – and I’ve also devoted much time to work, an interesting investment exercise, and sports sports sports.

But in the meantime, a tale I’m inspired by today’s events to tell.

About a week ago while rummaging through yet another thrift store, I came across a pristine jet black 100% cashmere sport coat which I took as a sign from God to buy since it fit me PERFECTLY. The price tag was a tad steep for the thrift store universe since it had a Dior label, but between knowing the money would go to charity and a surprise $25 refund from my eye doctor the very same day, I figured I could simply average it with the other 100% cashmere blazer I found in a thrift store some months ago for a mere $3 and call it a day.

So today, I’m out running some errands and figure that I may as well hit the Goodwill to see what’s turned up in the book bin mostly, and lo and behold… another beautiful jet black blazer, only this time, 100% camels hair. I got a gray and a navy blue camels hair jacket, why not another black one? Evan-Piccone for Macy’s, too, a decent make. And this one was tagged at only ten bucks AND it was the discount color of the week making it only FIVE BUCKS!!!! This thing new would have been at least $150 or more.

BUT IT WAS A SIZE AND A HALF TOO BIG.

A 43 large, as it turned out. If I was 2 inches taller and 15 pounds heavier I might have gotten away with it, but that wasn’t happening. I’m a 40 regular and can get away with a 39, but that’s about it.

What a bummer. It deeply hurt me to have to put such an amazing bargain back on the rack even when I’ve already got a nice black jacket.

Actually, I have three. One is regular wool, and the other a velvety cotton number that I like to think of as my Dracula-as-pimp jacket. But the camels hair would have been a nice addition to the upper-end of the Wagstaff wardrobe.

AND the book selection at Goodwill was meager. Bah.

SO MY HEART WAS BROKEN.

Was this payback for my dream the other night where Fred “Rerun” Berry from What’s Happening? followed me to my car and asked me to drive him to Pasadena because there’d be “a few beers in it” for me and I turned him down, breaking HIS heart?

Yes, I really have dreams like that. Either the shrimp marinara for dinner that night, or my own insanity.

So, I’m only batting .500 for nice jackets this September.

But soon…. watch this space…. I think my batting average for novels worth reading will remain at 1.000 with the new YA entry. Stay tuned!

 

 

Welcome To All B3TA Linkers August 24, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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A quick examination of my traffic shows me that a post on the Brit pop culture boards B3TA has led many of you to this blog, mostly for the Cris Shapan post I wrote some time ago.

Welcome!

Feel free to look around, check out the topic menu. Or just keep scrolling & enjoy. Lots of film & TV articles, cat pictures, stupid jokes, and this pic which is just for you Brits – one of my all time favorite countrymen of yours.

And MOST DEFINITELY click on the “Buy My Books” tab and check out my comic detective novels on Amazon. Help feed me, or so help me God, I’ll scour the internet for explicit porn starring Terry-Thomas and Robert Morley and I’ll start posting it.

You’ve been warned, guv’nor. Now don’t be a bloody git.

Beware, Ladies! The Party Has Started! August 18, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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Thanks to Wilt’s suit, yellow cows are now extinct. Not sure about the animal Buddy is wearing on his head.

 

And I Get All Excited If I Find A Nickel On My Evening Walk August 14, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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This guy certainly did better.

He’s a musician who lives with his mom. I hope they gave him a sizable reward. Maybe he can finally move out of the house now, and find the rest of the orchestra.

 

I Don’t Trust These Visitors July 25, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in 1970s, General, Movies.
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One of them smells like a tart’s handkerchief too.

Morning Mood July 24, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in Cats, General.
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Meh.

The world is out to get me, as usual.

My Useless Yet Strangely Interesting Psychic Powers July 18, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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Earlier today I thought of comedian/actor Art Metrano for no apparent reason. I was working on some stuff and reading about investment techniques.

It was totally random for me to be thinking about him (Sorry, Art) and nothing I’d watched in recent days/weeks/months featured him.

He just popped into my mind somehow. Didn’t know why, just kept thinking and eventually the strange tracks of my mind went elsewhere, maybe even towards what I was actually working on at the time.

And then tonight, he turned up in a small guest role on a rerun of WKRP I just watched.

It also featured Tom Dreesen, Tim Reid’s old stand-up partner. I’d watched a youtube vid of Dreesen telling a Sinatra story earlier today.

Some guys think about girls. Some psychics solve murder cases or hit the lottery.

I predict Art Metrano & Tom Dreesen rerun appearances.

This kind of crap happens to me all the time. It’s actually part of what inspired the Wagstaff detective books.

Should I set up a TV monitor on a street corner and put down a hat for contributions as I predict the next Burt Mustin appearance?

NO WAIT!!!! I’M HAVING A VISION!!!! IT’S OLAN SOULE!!!!

Or perhaps I should pitch myself to Marvel as their new star, the superhero with the most useless power ever?

Well, unless the Avengers want to know what’s good on TV tonight.

 

 

I Am Always Right About Everything July 10, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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A month ago I posted my theory that the IHOP name change was a publicity scam, and less than a month later, they have admitted as such.

It was all a stunt to promote their burgers.

ALWAYS TRUST MY PREDICTIONS!

EXCEPT when it comes to college football betting, pro football betting, horse racing picks & stock picks if I decide to start posting those to help you lose money.

I also had Carrot Top predicted for the Supreme Court, and flew all the way to London to bet it, putting up my house and everything¬† I own. I also bought a first class ticket at the last minute figuring I’d make the money back on the pick. Probably a bad idea.

BUT EVERYTHING ELSE…. man, it’s just GOLD!

 

 

Disturbing Quotation Marks For Today July 9, 2018

Posted by Jim Berkin in General.
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I’m ready to order a few pounds of tongue. You?