Tech Support For Scrabble On Facebook = Being Told To Stick A Fork In An Electric Outlet To Make The Lights Come On

I realize that the people on the other end of the tech support line follow script books designed for morons having easily fixable problems. “Try restarting your modem! Did you try clearing cookies and cache?” and so on…

So whenever anyone like me who actually KNOWS how computers friggin work calls in to report a clear problem on THEIR end, I get to sit through some pinhead giving me ridiculous and useless suggestions.

I like playing Scrabble on Facebook. It’s probably the only thing left on Facebook that I actually do, since Facebook, like the vast majority of social media, is a garbage fire. For the past couple of weeks, Scrabble has not worked on Facebook if I used Firefox as my browser. It worked fine while using Chrome. I prefer using Firefox as my browser since I am convinced that since Chrome is from Google, the damn thing is probably spying on every damn thing I do online and manages to spy on me outside the computer and in my sleep and also manages to READ MY THOUGHTS VIA THE GOOGLE BLACK HELICOPTERS FOLLOWING ME and…

Whatever. I just prefer Firefox. So since Firefox hasn’t updated since this issue arose, and since Scrabble on Facebook has a long history of bugs like this, I figured it was on their end.

I tried leaving a message on the EA forums, but there is no way to do that without creating an EA account. There’s also no way of sending an email or web based message reporting the bug without an EA account. But I could leave a message for them to call me.

So, I’m sitting around this afternoon with the holiday weekend starting, I figure “Why not?”

Oy.

Schmuck calls me after maybe twenty minutes, I tell him the problem just to report it. Schmuck starts to ask me if I’ve cleared cache and cookies, I basically tell him this is happening on any computer I try using Firefox, it’s happening with the other people I’m playing Scrabble games with on their computers… it’s not MY issue.

He puts me on hold for ten minutes of simply LOVELY muzak, then returns to tell me I should delete Firefox and reinstall it.

Yeah, sure. I think I’ll just trash all my passwords and bookmarks and everything because YOU MORONS TWEAKED YOUR AD-LOADING CODE or whatever the hell you did that makes the game reload its starting screen in an endless loop on Firefox while loading just fine on Chrome. But yeah, sure, I should trash all the actual real stuff on Firefox I do regularly, like email, banking, blogging, writing, multiple billable accounts, you name it – all to take a 1,000-1 chance on it loading a free Scrabble game on Facebook when WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME TO DO WON’T FIX THE PROBLEM ANYWAY.

Stupid brainless robot tech support pencil neck schmucks.

I’M TELLING YOU YOUR CODE SUCKS AND NEEDS TO BE FIXED, JUST THANK ME AND GO DO IT. Jeez.

After some arguing back and forth and him asking me if all my software is up to date (as if that were the problem, as if I wouldn’t have already thought of that if it were…. ARRRGGGGHHH I HATE THESE PEOPLE) he finally settled on “reporting the problem to our tech team” which sounded to me about as promising as leaving a newborn in a wood chipper.

Yeah, I know. I can play the stupid game using Chrome. I play continuous multiple Scrabble games with my mom on this thing. She can’t get anyone to play against her among her yenta friends because she’d destroy them all in every game. When she manages to beat me every so often, it’s a thrill for her. I’d set up my mom’s computer with Firefox and made everything she does on it one-click easy. So now my mom will need me to schlep over there and set up her computer for Chrome and not Firefox. There’s no way I’m walking her through those steps over the phone, it’d be worse for her than it was for me talking to the crap-for-brains robot moron in whatever Bangalore boiler room EA is underpaying him in. And it’s an excuse to go out to lunch, I suppose.

And now the Google black helicopters will start following my mom around. It’s the price you pay for a working Scrabble game.

Schmucks.

Now I need a drink.