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Harvard 24, Brown 21 September 26, 2009

Posted by Jim Berkin in Football.


Brown is down 24-14 late in the 4th, they score a touchdown – Harvard fumbles on the kickoff return and Brown recovers near mid-field. They move the ball to the Harvard 25 and then blow THREE pass attempts, INCLUDING A FOURTH DOWN, to lose the game.

Hey Coach! Did you know that you can KICK A GOD DAMN FIELD GOAL in such situations? Is the kicker such a GOD DAMN INEPT LOSER that he can’t be trusted to make a 35 yard field goal??? Did you know that would have tied the game? CAN YOU STUPID BROWN U. BIRKENSTOCK-WEARING POT-SMOKING HIPPIES EVEN DO BASIC MATH??

This brings back memories of a game I attended where Brown was out of time-outs with about ten seconds to play, down less than a touchdown, 1st and goal on the 5 yard line. So, do they try to throw some quick passes into the end zone to get as many plays as possible or stop the clock? NO! They run it up the middle, get stopped at about the two, and TIME RUNS OUT.

Ivy League stupid is a unique kind of stupid. You usually just see it in policy makers or politics. Here it is on the gridiron.

THOSE DUMBASS BASTARDS. Now Harvard will probably win the Ivy title. And Harvard SUCKS. Snob shit elitist spoiled brat dickbrains. So much for that six figure check I was going to write YOU, Brown University.

Okay, all six figures were zeroes, but STILL…

They probably don’t even care. “Hey man, we lost, but it’s the experience that totally stokes!!!!” They’re all thinking about hitching a ride down to Pittsburgh and throwing a cinderblock through a Starbucks to PROTEST CAPITALISM, MAN!!! And then it’s time to smoke a big bowl, snarf down some organic gorp and get people to sign petitions to get Phish back together for some tourin’. YEAH!

I HATE THEM! ALL OF THEM! Strap ’em to missiles and fire them into those Pakistan mountains where Al Qaeda hides. That’s all they’re good for anyway.

Even the Pakistanis would understand as they got incinerated. They’d know enough to kick a God damn field goal. No wonder they think America is weak.

I may have stumbled upon a plan for lasting world peace. Next week, my wonderful alma mater plays URI in the battle for Rhode Island dominance, which is kinda like buying a potted fern and calling yourself a “landowner” but there you are.



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