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Cornell 38, Brown 31 (OT) October 20, 2007

Posted by Jim Berkin in Football.
Tags: ,

High above Cayuga’s waters
There is an awful smell
Some say it’s Cayuga’s waters
Others say Cornell.

Am I a sore loser when my idiot alma mater blows a lead AGAIN and loses in overtime AGAIN? Damn straight!

So besides today’s victory on the gridiron, Cornell also boasts many distinguished alumni, such as Ann Coulter ’84, Bill Maher ’78 and Keith Olbermann ’79 – three people who endeavor daily to stretch all sides of the ever-widening perimeter of human capacity for annoying asshole-ism. Bravo!

Good God, talk about a roll call of people I can’t stand. Also, notice how people you like who are associated with Cornell all dropped out or failed, like Kurt Vonnegut, Harry Chapin & Ronald D. Moore? They must have known something. Even Huey Lewis dropped out before serving as Elvis Costello’s first backup band, having a few hits of his own, and showing us all his rather underwhelming wang in a mediocre Robert Altman movie.

Hey wait! Harold Bloom, E.B. White and Art Fleming went there! I guess it can’t be all bad. Even Glenn “Pop” Warner went there, so no wonder they can beat my guys at football. Brown can claim George Lincoln Rockwell as an alum, so WE can beat Cornell at being American Nazis. So there. Ve haff a lovely halftime show, fraulein, choreographed by Leni Riefenstahl in a bear suit…

Next week, back home to play Penn. No, NOT Penn State, the University of Pennsylvania. Nobody ever confuses Brown with the University of Rhode Island, and nobody confuses the earnings potential of Penn grads with that of Brown grads. More on that next week. Sigh.



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