Okay, as promised, here we go with a round of virtual football betting. I’ll make this list out as if I was spending another weekend in Vegas. (To complete the simulation, I’ll be phoning up some strippers later.)

College Football Saturday

First of all, I could not find any odds for the Brown/Columbia game, but they’d probably wind up being along the lines of Brown favored in single digits. I’d bet $5 on Brown purely out of alma-mater loyalty, but they ought to be able to beat Columbia. I’ll write more about that one after it happens, since I’m itchin’ to write a tirade on how monumentally stupid Columbia has been behaving lately as an institution, though I’m sure their football players might be inclined to agree with me (if I remember my football-player personality types correctly.)

Here are the more serious picks:

Ohio State -4 points over Michigan State

Connecticut – 20 points over Syracuse

Georgia – 8 points over Kentucky (I’m actually not too sure about this one, but I’d go with it out of loyalty to a good friend of mine who is a Dawg through and through)

Missouri – 7 1/2 points over Kansas State

Tennessee -12 points over Vanderbilt

Notre Dame -6 1/2 points over Duke. I know, they’ve been losing to everyone, but to Duke?? I’d plunk another fiver on this one for laughs if I was in Sin City.

Kansas – 27 points over Iowa State. Lots of points to cover, I know, but I think they’re up to it. They look like a bunch of guys who really really want to prove they’re not just a basketball school.

Washington +7 points against Cal. My first underdog bet! I think if Cal wins this one, it’ll be a squeaker. Did Underdog ever make Sweet Polly Purebread squeak, by the way? I mean, in the European Director’s cut? Oh wait, two more picks…

LSU – 19 1/2 over Ole Miss

Clemson – 8 1/2 over Boston College (unless they bring back Doug Flutie)

Okay, that’s $5 on each of those, and I’d do a $10 parley card of my favorite picks, Ohio State-Missouri-Kansas-LSU for a possible $110 payoff. Total laid out for college ball: $65

NFL Sunday 

Chiefs +15 points against the Colts 

Falcons +3 points against the Buccaneers

Packers -10 points over  the Panthers

Browns -3 points over the Ravens (Why are the Ravens getting this much respect??)

Cowboys -11 points over the Redskins

and of course, I’ll take the Patriots – 16 1/2 over the Bills

$10 on each of those, plus a $10 parlay card of the Packers-Browns-Cowboys-Patriots. Total for NFL betting comes to $70. We’ll total up the wins/losses and virtual money when it’s all over. It’ll be interesting to see if I picked the right weekend to make that Vegas trip.